The Secret of Happiness

I was sorting through more stuff today, and I found a little slip of paper with an excerpt from one of my favorite books called "Daddy Long Legs" by Jean Webster. I had entitled the excerpt "The Secret of Happiness" because I think it truly captures it.

"The true secret of happiness is to live in the now. Not to be forever regretting the past, or anticipating the future; but to get the most that you can out of this very instant. Most people don't live; they just race. They are trying to reach some goal far away on the horizon, and in the heat of the going they get so breathless and panting that they lose all sight of the beautiful, tranquil country they are passing through; and then the first thing they know, they are old and worn out, and it doesn't make any difference whether they've reached the goal or not."

I think most people are guilty of joining the race- the race to finish. I know I am. In September, one of my longtime friends passed away, and at his memorial the pastor talked about how on headstones, you see the person's birth date, a dash, and their death date. We all know our birth date, but no one knows our death date before it happens. In the middle is the dash. From birth, it's just a mad dash to the death, and no one knows how long that dash will be. I don't want to just be a dash- a streak across time. I want to LIVE. I want to enjoy life's little moments, because those are the ones worth living for. I don't want to look back and regret what I missed because I was too consumed with work or politics or the daily stresses of life. I want to pause at random moments, look around me, and absorb the beauty surrounding me.

"Yesterday is history

Tomorrow is a mystery

Today is a gift of God

Which is why we call it the present."

The past is gone; it's over. Let go. The future is not guaranteed. Right now, this very moment, is all we have. Stop mourning the past, don't regret the things you did or didn't do. Don't fear the future because you don't know what's going to happen. Learn from the past. Look forward to the future. But enjoy the present. That is the true secret of happiness.

Blast from the Past

I'm getting ready to move in a little less than a month, so tonight I started going through some old papers to throw out as much as I can. I was reading through an old notebook from when I was in school for massage therapy- it had random notes from school, vocabulary stuff, and some kind of like... diary entries, for lack of better word.

I started MT school at the end of August 2007, and finished the beginning of June 2008. Between September 22 and April 3, I got in a car accident, my house burned down, I went through the breakup from hell, had a falling out with my sister, and one of my old friends I had grown up with passed away- and that's just the big stuff that happened. It was the absolute most difficult year of my life so far. And to top it off, I was just 18 years old- 17 when the car accident happened. I've struggled with suicidal depression since I was 11. Adding all this on top of it was just too much. After my car accident, my body went into hardcore fight-or-flight mode, and I got trapped in a never-ending panic attack. My anxiety was so intense, I truly think I went insane for a time. Sometimes late at night, when I was at school or at home and couldn't sleep, I would try to write out my feelings, sort them out. I never was able to keep up a real diary or journal, but every once in awhile my emotions would get so overwhelming I would just have to get them out somehow.

The journal entry I just came across was this:

"I just feel like I'm being stoned to death. Through life you occasionally get hit by pebbles, and every once in awhile a big rock falls in your path and you have to work your way around it. But the last year of my life I just feel like there's been a huge rock slide, and all these big boulders keep knocking me down.

They're crushing me, and I can't breathe.

I'm screaming for help, but no one's there to hear my cries.

I'm wishing for it to end, but the rocks only get bigger.

I'm wishing for death, but I'm still here, with the crushing weight of the world bearing down upon me...

And I am alone."

At the time, I was so alone. I went to school at night, and my friends went to school during the day. My parents both worked, so they would leave before I woke up in the morning, I would leave before they got home, and I wouldn't get home til after they had gone to bed at night. It was so lonely. The only thing that kept me going was my unwavering faith in Jesus Christ. Even when everyone else was gone, God was always with me. He never left me, He never forsook me. My faith in Him kept me going, even when I was literally living breath to breath. He met me where I was, in such a deep, dark place.

That's the amazing thing about God. He meets you were you are. It doesn't matter to Him where you are at, no matter how dark of a place it may be. "[His] light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." There is nothing you have done or will do that God hasn't already forgiven. That was the whole reason Jesus died on the cross; it was for OUR sins. God thought of you when He created the universe. Jesus thought of you as He died on the cross. No matter where you are or what you've done, or even what you are doing right this very moment, you are loved more deeply than you can possibly comprehend. You are forgiven. You have been equipped to live the blessed, rich, fulfilling life you have always imagined. All you have to do it go for it. Go out on a limb. Yes, there will be sacrifice. Probably a lot of sacrifices. And yes, there will probably be pain, and even maybe some loss along the way. The world may give you a thousand reasons why you can't live the life you've always imagined, but all you need is one reason why you can. Cling to that one reason. Don't let anything stop you from what God has planned for you. YOU CAN DO IT!

Epic Quotes

For my second blog, I figured I would share some encouraging quotes I've found about life, that inspire me to LIVE.

"I'm going to make everything around me beautiful- that will be my life."

~Elsie de Wolfe

"I have decided to be happy, because it is good for my health."

~Voltaire

"I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well."

~Diane Ackerman

"I'll look back on this and smile because it was life and I decided to live it."

~Unknown

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style."

~Maya Angelou

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."

~George Eliot

"When God gives us 'No' for an answer, keep in mind that there is a much greater 'Yes.' His 'No' is not a rejection, but a redirection."

~Unknown

"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."

~Og Mandino

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I ended up where I intended to be."

~Douglas Adams

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him."

~James D. Miles

"You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it."

~Unknown

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours- it is an amazing journey- and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins."

~Bob Moawad

"The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention."

~Unknown

"All you have to do is be yourself and live the story that no one else can live- the story of your own unique life. Be proud. Be confident. And most of all, be happy."

~Unknown

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose."

~Dr. Seuss

"The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."

~Steve Jobs

"Your journey has molded you for greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think that you've lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time."

~Asha Tyson

"If you love someone, tell them. Forget about the rules or the fear of looking ridiculous. What is truly ridiculous is passing up on an opportunity to tell someone that your heart is invested in them."

~Unknown

"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."

J.K. Rowling

"This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever. In it's place is something that you have left behind. Let it be something good."

~Unknown

My Epiphany

Friday night, February 13, I went to Moonlight Beach and watched the most stunningly beautiful sunset I think I've ever seen. The beach was pretty quiet since it is January, after all, so I had a nice big stretch of sand all to myself. After being there for maybe 10 minutes, a young family came walking over to my stretch of beach. They were so cute, a happily-in-love young couple with their two little kids- the boy looked about 4, and the girl looked around 18 months old. Seeing them running around chasing and kissing each other, hearing the little girl giggle with delight as she got caught chaing after the tail of another young beach-goer's kite, filled my heart with so much joy. It made me realize how that is what life is all about. It's the smallest things that make the happiest memories.

As I looked out over the ocean, so large and so clear, I felt like I could see the curve of the world; it reminded me of when I was a kid and I thought the horizon was a huge waterfall. I always wondered where all that water went. Looking out at that horizon made me feel so small. And what I can see of it is just a tiny portion of the whole earth, which is just a reflective speck of the galaxy, which is just an infinitesimal part of the universe. It's so easy to feel insignificant when I think how truly small I am;how truly small we ALL are.

And yet- God still chose to give me life. He thought of me when He created the universe, the heavens and the earth. He knit me together in my mother's womb, bestowing me with the greatest gift known to man- life, and the time to enjoy it. And above that, He created me with a purpose, a plan designed specifically for me, a destiny only I can fulfill. He did not entrust me with life so I can simply endure, survive, and overcome bad circumstances and painful events. No, He gave me life so I could LIVE it; He put me on earth to enjoy all the beauty it has to offer. Sometimes it can be hard to find, but tonight I am committing myself to be happy, to find beauty in every place, person, and situation- even if it takes a lot of time and patience. Tonight I am committing to LIVE this life God has entrusted to me. No man can ever know how much time he has on earth. I am determined not to waste a second more of my time here. I will no longer be satisfied with just enduring, surviving, overcoming-EXISTING. God created me for so much more than that. I will not settle for mediocre. I will not let anything hold me back- not my family, my friends, or even what I feel like my own human limitations are. When I feel in my spirit that God has called me to something, I will pursue it with everything I have inside me until I see it come to pass.

Gone are the days when I was weak enough to succumb to depression and anxiety. They are dark clouds over my life I might always have to fight against. But I will fight. I will not let them rob me of the richly blessed life God has given me. Gone are the days that I would always focus on the negative. Tonight I'm declaring that I will make myself focus on the good in life, even when it's hard to find- because no matter how hard I might have it, it could always be worse. When I am feeling down, I will lift others up in prayer. When I am feeling discouraged, I will encourage others. I will step outside of myself. This is it. Right here, right now- this is where my life begins. And I couldn't be more excited! :)

"The moment you take the first step towards the impossible... is the moment you bring heaven to the edge of its seat." ~Matthew Barnett

"I can never escape from Your Spirit! I can never get away from Your presence! If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I go down to the grave, You are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there Your hand will guide me, and Your strength will support me... You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, You are still with me!" ~Psalm 139:7-18

"In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through Him, and nothing was created except through Him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and His life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." ~John 1:1-5